Unnerving 3
Opal Palmer Adisa ( '00, '01)

she understood
that she did not understand
what they were talking about
no more than they understood
what they thought she had said
when she hadn't spoken
understanding
was not the problem

why tell the truth
if a lie adds more clarity
her heart was beating
yet she had not outlived her time

she chewed the insides of her cheeks
chewed
and chewed
until all the saliva was gone

they had to make it complex
pretending to fix
what they could never repair
fearing
the fear
of what they didn't know
beyond imagining

someone has to be always
chasing someone
or their shadow
she didn't cut her eyes
or suck her teeth
she gasped

she was trying
really hard
to not lose it
not lose it
don't lose it
the very idea was ludicrous
but she tried anyway
until it erupted
in her mouth

Copyright © Opal Palmer Adisa. All right reserved. Used by permission of the author

Jamaican born Opal Palmer Adisa is a writer, poet, and storyteller. She won the 1992 PEN Oakland/Josephine Miles Literary Award for her poetry collection, Tamarind and Mango Women. It Begins with Tears is her first novel, which has received several notable reviews. Her forthcoming books are a novel, No Regrets, and a poetry collection, Caribbean Passion. She received her Ph.D in Ethnic Studies Literature from the University of California, Berkeley. Presently, she is Associate Professor and Chair of Ethnic Studies/Cultural Diversity Program at California College of the Arts and Crafts.

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